


Astray

by purplefox



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Dark, Drabble, M/M, One Shot, Unhappy Ending, major differences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 08:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6559132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is hard to say you'll never give up, Kakashi keeps trying...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Astray

**Author's Note:**

> Lol another not too happy fic. You might hate me for a bit~
> 
> Still I was rewatching TFA and this came to me. It's a simple little drabble don't fret too much. Just enjoy

There was a big difference between one who has been lost and one that has allowed themselves to be lost. Such a large difference between one covered in darkness and the one who took on the cloak in darkness on their own

As such there were different ways to deal with those the darkness claimed. And another for those who sought out the darkness themselves.

Kakashi was currently at a loss. He knew not where to turn. Instead he stood, his heart hurt and slowly crumbling. The cloaked man facing him, he was not who he had been years ago. Part of him blamed himself. He had been naïve.

Foolish. Ignorant. If he had done more, ignored the others, then maybe he would not be in this situation.

“Hatake Kakashi.” The man said and his voice was muffled. “We meet again.”

“Please.” Kakashi whispered. “Take that off.”

“Why?” The man sounded amused. “What is there under here that you need to see? I am simply a man like any other…my curse does not linger on my face.”

“I’d see the man I served with, lived with. The man I trained. I would see you Naruto.” Kakashi said softly. “Take it off, I want to see your face.”

There was a slight pause before Naruto moved his hand going to the back of the helmet. The soft hiss when the mechanism was released made Kakashi tense. He knew that their group was in a precarious situation. At this moment he did not care. Not when Naruto’s gloved hands slowly removed the helmet and the blond hair came into view.

He made a small sound. A whimper at the reveal. It had been so long. He had been scared to face him. Guilty but he was right in front of him. Naruto. He was right there. Naruto’s hair had grown longer, the locks tousled from being in the helmet.

Naruto’s eyes slowly opened the same shade of blue that Kakashi remembered. That summer sky blue. He felt his throat clench as he stared at the man’s face. It had been long. Almost too long.

“Speechless?” Naruto asked in amusement. “But you’re the one that wanted me to remove it.” The helmet hit the ground. “General.”

“Please.” Kakashi begged. He took a small step forward. “Come home.”

“Home.” Naruto said softly. “That would be… impossible.” Kakashi’s heart clenched. “For I have no home to return to. I never did. What I have now is hatred. A mission, but a home?” His lips quirked up. “I have never had a home Hatake. You can blame the others for that.”

Kakashi’s vision swam and he swallowed in order to fight the tears. It was not as if Naruto was lying. That was the problem. It was the truth. All of it. Because of who Naruto was, he had been denied. Abused and those who cared for him had been limited.

And Naruto had turned from them all. It was fate. After scorning him, the villagers. The world tried to cling to Naruto’s feet. Begging him to save them and it had been too late. All of it. Naruto had been drawn to the destructive other side.

“Are those tears I see?” Naruto laughed. “How sad.”

“You weren’t like this.” Kakashi whispered. “In you I still see the future. The hope. Your father. Your mother. The will of others. It is not too late. It never is.”

“You won’t change will you.” Naruto chuckled. “I remember when I was trained by you. The hell we went through. The moments when you softened. When we drew closer as a team. When my feelings changed. It was beautiful.” Naruto mused. “The way you would look at me. Acknowledge me but it seems that is not enough.” Naruto’s eyes turned cold. “You couldn’t win out against reality Hatake. There was no use for me…unless it was fodder.” His voice was filled with disgust. “I can’t believe you came all this way to meddle.”

“I came to see you.” Kakashi swallowed. He took a step closer. “Naruto, this is not the way. If you continue like this, everything will be dark and cold. Fear and despair. Emptiness.”

“It sound like my life.” Naruto answered. “I don’t see a problem with that. I’ve already abandoned everything. I will continue to abandon everything that holds me back and those people. Their hopes. Their demands. Their spoiled demeanour. It holds me back.”

“And I?” Kakashi demanded because Naruto had let him get close. Had let him approach. Had he also abandoned Kakashi and everything between them?”

“Don’t worry you also have your part to play.” Naruto’s eyes changed then the coldness melting. Almost to the look Naruto had previously and long ago. That fond look. It was almost like the look Naruto gave him long ago. When they lingered together.

Back then Kakashi had seen it as simple admiration. Then a crush but things had been too hectic. He had thought there to be more time. He had overestimated Naruto’s strength and Naruto had fallen and been lured away.

“Part?” His voice cracked.

“Part of me is still divided.” Naruto admitted. “Humans are not humans without wants and desires. Emotions are part of being. I’ve learned this. There is no simple right way to fall. If you love you might hate, feel indifferent. You can crave. Be obsessed. Have moments of jealousy. This is all parts of being human. You should rejoice…Kakashi.” Naruto said softly. “I’ve found my humanity. I’ve found the reason for my existence. I fully understand my previous loneliness. I survived the hell brought on me and lived and I’ll live on.” His eyes closed. “Because they never wanted me to.” He smile widened. “What they want… has nothing to do with me anymore. I’m out their reach. Above their rules.” His eyes reopened. Slits of red froze Kakashi in his tracks. “And I make the rules now.”

“Naruto.” Kakashi felt his heart shatter. His chest felt empty. “What has happened to you?”

“I walked away from it all.” Naruto grinned. “And I discovered something great and it never turned me away. It’s far bigger than any other feeling you tried to bring about in me. It is ever lasting and it shows the truth of the balance.” Naruto’s grin showed his lengthened teeth. “I chose a side.”

“Darkness.” Kakashi whispered. “There is no happiness there.”

“But there is purpose.” Naruto laughed. “And better yet, all the answers I needed. It gives them. It talks to me!” Naruto’s laugh was strange, nothing like the laughter Kakashi remembered. This was wilder. Looser. “Whatever becomes of me I’m fine with it. Once they go.”

“Naruto.” Kakashi whispered. He clenched his teeth as a memory resurfaced. Naruto from years before, obviously tired but happy to see him something hidden behind his back and his scent infused with nervousness. The boy had tripped over his words ten times before he gave Kakashi his present and by the time he was done Kakashi had been so touched and amused he had allowed his hand to linger as the boy left.

He wanted to save that boy. There had to be a small part of him lingering in there. The Naruto that had waited until the cherry blossoms bloomed before asking Kakashi for a walk. That boy had to be somewhere. He had to be still in there.

Those people had seduced Naruto. Granted Naruto’s circumstances had made it easy but Naruto had a goal before. He had been on their side before. This Naruto before him…

The darkness could not have claimed all of him yet.

“There is simply no hope.” Naruto said softly. “I’m impressed how you stand before me. An enemy. A formidable enemy and instead you reach your hand out to me. As expected as the man who trained me.”

“And two others.” Kakashi pointed out. “They worry about you.”

“I have my doubts about that.” Naruto mused as he turned away. “My time with them was a time of countless fights. In the end, it is all so disappointing. But the biggest disappointment…” Naruto’s helmet returned to his hand gently and Kakashi’s face twisted. “Is me.” Naruto admitted as he faced Kakashi again. “The war within me… your presence has sparked something. But it won’t win. I won’t let it. Simply put… I won’t let something convenient ruin everything. You come now… did you think you would erase the past? Does the memory of that time keep you up at night? Do you blame yourself for this? For me? How arrogant…Hatake.”

“I called myself your teacher. I failed you during your most important time.” Kakashi whispered. His eyes widened when the ground under them shook. That had to be their people. “Back then if I had understood more… if I had taken the time to explain properly to you…”

“I would have still learned about myself from another source.” Naruto said dryly. “I would have still learned my true history from someone else’s lips… just having my…” Naruto’s gaze flicked over him. “Having my lover be the one to hide that information. Hide the history. Be no different than anyone else.” Naruto’s gaze hardened. “All that would have done. Is guaranteed your death. Do you want that? Kakashi?”

“I want you to come home.” Kakashi whispered. “That’s all I want. You to come back.”

“I have no home and there is no where I want to go back to.” Naruto said softly. “Now… you are in the way. You are suffering now but I don’t think it is enough.” Kakashi frowned before he felt something close around his neck but nothing was there.

He tried to grab whatever it was even though he knew it was useless. He wondered if this was it. The moment he would die. He was fine with it being by Naruto’s hands but his thoughts went to the mission he was currently failing and his friends. Their friends even if Naruto had walked away from that.

“That would be… too easy.” Naruto mused. Kakashi choked and wriggled as his feet left the ground. Naruto replaced the helmet and Kakashi hated the black mask he stared at instead of Naruto’s face. “No… you need more time.” Naruto’s muffled voice continued. “And I’ll give you all the time you need. You are the one… that I won’t kill… for now.” Black spots appeared in his vision and Kakashi flailed as Naruto faded from his vision.

X

He came awake on a shuttle. Kakashi’s hand wobbled as he tried to brace himself. Many surrounded him. More than was advised in one shuttle but Kakashi knew why so many were in the shuttle.

They had lost plenty.

“Status?” His voice was hoarse but he was alive!

“We took it out.” Shikamaru said softly. “But we lost… a lot.”

“Naruto?” Lee asked as his arm was being tended to. The shuttle fell silent.

“I failed.” Kakashi admitted softly. “The darkness… it is strong in him.” He closed his eyes bitterly before he continued. “But so is the grey and strains of the light.”

“Then that’s perfect!” Sakura… bruised and tired jumped from where she sat on the floor. “We just have to work at it a little more! Just a bit more, we’ll bring him home.”

Kakashi hesitated. He did not want to be the one to dim her hopes. Even though he himself wanted to believe. The boy had become a man. Their bond… it was still there. The affection was different but it existed. But everything had been tainted. There was no doubt, Naruto would make all of them from this point on… suffer. He would twist everything until there was only darkness and god knew what he would do to Kakashi. Next time… he would draw his weapon and next time instead of being resigned to dying by Naruto’s hand…he would let them die together. Maybe in another world. Another time. They could finish what they started.

If only Kakashi could turn back time. That clumsy kiss under the blooming cherry trees. He would go back and do more. Talk more. If he could turn back time. He would have found a way to stop this. But he could not turn back time. All he could do, was deal with the current situation.


End file.
